A superstar living in every child

Parents and teachers expectations have a lot to do with what a child can achieve in life.  Low expectations can lead to average achievement while high expectations often produce fantastic success.  That is why it is important to look beyond the exterior and see the superstar living in each and every child!

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  (1 Samuel 16:7)

I was recently enjoying some alone time at a local coffee house.  While I was sipping my soy latte, a father and his son walked in and approached the gentlemen sitting next to me and greeted him with a warm smile and friendly handshake.  The two men talked for a few minutes and the guy next to me looked at the young man and asked, “How is school going?”  He answered politely, but was somewhat vague so his father replied, “Well, John isn’t a genius but he does alright in school.”  Upon hearing his father's remarks, the boy shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head with a half-smile.  I could tell that he was deflated. 

Now I don’t think the father meant anything unkind, but he was unknowingly sabotaging his child’s potential in school (and probably life).  He was encouraging his son to be a mediocre student rather than encouraging him to be a superstar. 

A famous study done some years ago demonstrated the power of our actions and attitudes in encouraging children to achieve great things when we believe that they can.  Researchers went into an elementary school and tested the children at the beginning of the school year.  After the test was administered and evaluated, the researchers told the teachers which students were the academic superstars.  However, they did not share the results with the children.  At the end of the year, the students were tested again and the academic superstars outperformed the other children by a wide margin.

The test results may not seem all that surprising until you consider that the test had a twist.  It turns out that the children identified as “academic superstars” during the initial testing were randomly selected.  They were neither gifted nor academically superior to the other children at the beginning of the year.  However, when they were tested at the end of the year, they “became” academic superstars. 

This test really had little to do wtih the children but everything to do with the teachers (although they did nto know it at the time).  The teachers – believing that certain children were academically superior -- treated them like academically superior students.  This resulted in the children performing at a very high level throughout the school year.  The teacher’s expectations had a direct and profound effect on the children they were teaching.   They created superstars because they believed in their ability to excel.

This experiment has clear ramifications for those of us who are raising children.  What you expect of your child is based on what you believe about his or her potential.  Your expectations also influence your actions.  If you view your child as mediocre, you will treat your child as if this was true and he or she will live up to your average expectations.  Conversely, if you believe that your child has the potential to be a superstar, you will treat your son or daughter differently and promote excellence in everything that he or she does. 

Believing that your child is truly a superstar also impacts how your child approaches school.  He or she will be far more optimistic and positive.  Rather than it being a chore, school work and education will be fun and productive!  You will also find a great deal more joy and satisfaction in helping your son or daughter with school work knowing that he or she is a superstar! 

Keep in mind that your child’s potential is not fixed or limited.  Living in every child is truly a superstar.  If you believe that your boy or girl is gifted, wonderful, and extremely talented, he or she will flourish and shine.  Don’t limit your children’s potential by declaring that they are simply “average.”  You can make a big difference by encouraging their success.  The really great news is that they will be more creative, work harder, and experience greater joy and happiness in life because you believe in them.