Benefits of Prayer and Meditation

Prayer and meditation are an integral part of a full, abundant life.  When done on a regular basis, it has been shown to lower blood pressure, reduce cholesterol, relieve anxiety and depression, and increase happiness and overall well-being.  You will definitely experience a greater sense of calm and peace in a very short time.  Best of all, it enhances your relationship with God and ability to discern His perfect will for your life. 

The benefits are well worth a few minutes a day.  If you are considering making this a habit, here  are some things to consider to get the most out of your intimate time with God:

1. Find a quiet place
2. Eliminate the negative and focus on the positive
3. Surrender to the Lord
4. Listen to His Word

Find a Quiet Place

It is important to find a quiet place and eliminate all distractions before you enter into deep prayer.  This is a time for just you and Lord.  There must be a sense of serenity and solitude that promotes peace and calm.  Jesus understood that this was a necessary requirement of a healthy prayer life.  He would often "withdraw" from the crowds and his close friends.  This became especially true when his popularity grew, "Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.   But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed" (Luke 5:15,16).  Like Jesus, you also need to find a quiet, peaceful place void of the TV, radio, cell phone, and screaming kids.

 

This is hard to do in our busy world, but absolutely necessary.  Find a quiet room or outside place like the backyard or park area.  You may need to work at being alone, but be creative if necessary.  Even your car can  be a place of solitude so consider all options.   

Meditation should not be combined with another activity, like taking a walk, working out at the gym, or driving in your car.  You will need to be still and focused to enter into a deep, meditative state.

 

Eliminate the Negative and Focus on the Positive

Meditation is not a time to dwell on past mistakes and personal inadequacies.  It is really about looking to God and seeking his will for your life.  Therefore, eliminate those negative thoughts that often create a sense of hopelessness and focus on those things that are positive and encouraging.  Consider the words of Paul, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things" (Philippians 4:8). 

 

Purge the negative and allow your thoughts to be consumed with all that is good, holy, and pure.  Meditate on God's sovereignty and power.  Remember, God is with you and desires that you experience life abundantly.  And if He is for you, there isn't anything that can possibly be against you!

 

Surrender to the Lord

Peace comes through absolute surrender to the Lord of heaven and earth.  It requires letting go of what is troubling you and embracing God and His will.  By approaching prayer and meditation with this frame of mind, you will feel a sense of relief and calm because you are trusting in God rather than relying on your own strength to fix problems in your life.  After all, God knows your pain and sorrow and wants to be the rock you lean upon.  Therefore, cast your burdens on him: 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7)

Take your requests to God and experience sweet, wonderful peace.  Find refreshing in the Lord!

 

Listen to His Word

Prayer and meditation is not a "tool" to convince God that He should do what we ask.  Rather, it is a time of seeking His divine will. Empty your mind of your cares and troubles an ask God to speak to you and share His will for you.  This can be done by including the Bible in your daily prayer:

My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you.  Keep my commands and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye.  Bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. (Proverbs 7:1-3)

Yes, write His word on the tablet of your heart and you will hear His voice as He speaks to you.  Reciting His word will become a natural part of your prayers and meditations.  It will also direct your thoughts as you focus on what is true and holy.  The truth will set you free of the trials you now face!

Lastly, set aside 5 minutes a day for prayer and meditation.  The benefits are enormous when you practice this on a daily basis.  Studies have even shown that there are profound changes in the brain that results in greater peace and happiness.  You will feel better physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

With so many incredible benefits and so little effort, why not get started today!

Feeling Overwhelmed?

In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it is easy to become overwhelmed.  There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to do everything that we hope to accomplish.  As a result, people are tired, frustrated, and stressed out.  If this sounds familiar, you may be trying to do too much.  Fortunately, there is hope!  I'll share some things you can do to better manage your time and recover your sanity.

There are a limited amount of hours in the day so it is important to focus on the really important things in life.  To illustrate why it is important to prioritize, consider the Biblical example of two sisters in Luke 10 who were blessed by a visit from Jesus.  The sisters responded to his visit differently.  Mary immediately sat at his feet and listened intently to everything he had to say.  Martha, on the other hand, “was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made.”  She should have been spending time with the Lord instead:  

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  (Luke 10:41,42).

We all have a little Martha inside of us.  And like Martha, we grow impatient and stressed out because we are working hard on the wrong things.   Some parents, for example, are so busy running their children around from one extracurricular activity to another that they are completely overwhelmed.  Their week is a blur.  Soccer games all weekend with mandatory practices throughout the week for little Johnny and piano and ballet lessons for Jane.  It can get to the point that mom and dad "divide and conquer" because each child has a different activity at conflicting times and the family is separated for long periods of time.

There is certainly nothing wrong with soccer, ballet, or piano.  In fact the benefits can be enormous.  However, playing soccer is not a necessity and in some cases may simply be overwhelming for those families with a lot of things going on.  It can also deprive the family of more important activities that promote a higher quality of life and family unity. 

Since time is a precious commodity, all of us must focus time and energy on what is really important.  Here is something that I recommend to help.  Get a piece of paper and label three columns with the headings – ‘Stuff to Do’, ‘Importance’, and ‘Priority’.  Now think about everything you would like to do or have planned over the next few days or weeks and write them down on your list (order is not important at this time).  Once you have written down everything you can think of, go to the column labeled ‘Importance’ and label each item as either, ‘Must Do’, ‘Should Do’, or ‘Nice to Do’. 

The goal is to identify those things that really need to get done and separate out less important tasks.  Generally speaking, approximately 1/3 of the items on your list should be absolutely necessary.  If all of your items are 'Must Do' than you are either the President of the United States (if this is you, I would like to thank you Mr. President for reading my little blog) or you may be obsessing over things that really are not critical but you believe they are.  You are probably not the President so review the list to determine if what you've labeled as ‘Must Do’ is really a "must do."  If the consequences are not significant, like paying the mortgage, eating, preparing for surgery, or taking little Johnny to school on time, then the activity is probably a 'Nice to Do' rather than a 'Must Do'.

Now that your list is complete, it is time to prioritize each within each category.  Label the “Must Do” with a A1, A2, A3, etc. and the “Should Do’ items with a B1, B2, B3, and finally the ‘Nice to Do’ items as C1, C2, C3, etc.  At this point you will have identified all of the things you want to do, their importance, and the priority. 

You may be saying to yourself, "I don't have time to make a list!"  You'll find that it really does not take that long and you'll quickly realize the benefits.  I can tell you that this process helped me achieve balance in my life and reduce stress.  I have a great many interests, but not enough time.  So it is necessary for me to focus on what is really important -- family, marriage, faith, health, and work are at the top of my list.  Other things simply have to wait. 

For example, I love old cars and have a beautiful 57 Chevy in my garage that is 90% restored.  I would love to finish it and cruise the boulevard on Saturday, but in the grand scheme of things it is not a priority in my life right now.   It is a 'Nice to Do'.   On occassion I work on it, but only when the Must/Should Do items on my list are complete and I have the energy. 

I'm sure many of you reading this can cerainly  relate to the above.   There may be things that you enjoy doing that are simply not that important compared to others.  Prioritize and conquer.  If you get through all of the 'Must Do' and 'Should Do' items on your list, you will feel a great sense of accomplishment and you won't feel guilty working on the 'Nice to Do' items.    You will be more organized and filled with a tremendous sense of power and control. Best of all, you will actually accomplish more because you are not overwhelmed!

Lastly, remember to keep your list up-to-date.  This is not a one-time activity but on-going task because priorities in life change over time.  Commit to this every day so you remain focused on what is really important and eliminate those things that only add to your stress and frustration.

Best of luck!

Buying Happiness

My parents used to tell me, "Ken, it is better to give than to receive."  As a selfish kid, I thought that was merely a clever ruse or excuse for not buying me something I wanted.  It turns out that they were right!  Research confirms that we find greater joy and happiness when we spend our money to bless others.  

A study was conducted on employees who received an annual bonus to determine how spending this windfall affected their happiness.  They were asked to record what percentage of their bonus was spent on 1) bills and expenses, 2) rent or mortgage, 3) buying something for themselves, 4) buying something for someone else, 5) donating to charity, and 6) other.   Their happiness was measured prior to receiving their bonus and then again approximately 6-8 weeks later.  Employees who spent more of their money on charities and other people reported greater joy and happiness than those who did not. 

In another other study, students were given $20 to spend.  Half of the students were told to spend the money on something that they wanted.  The others were instructed to spend the money on other people.  The researchers checked-in with the participants after the money was spent and the second group reported greater happiness and satisfaction overall.  They were blessed when they blessed others.

These studies (and countless others) prove that "giving" is truly very rewarding.  This may seem counter-intuitive in our narcissistic culture that promotes self-indulgence and relentless pursuit of stuff.  “Do something nice for yourself” is a popular slogan today. The reality is that when we “do something nice” for other people, we experience greater fulfillment in life!

This is true because generosity, kindness, and charity are virtues that really do lead to blessing and happiness.  It not only feels good to do something for another person, but there is a spiritual blessing that comes from giving generously:

Give generously to the poor, not grudgingly, for the LORD your God will bless you in everything you do.  (Deuteronomy 15:10)

Yes, when you bless other people you are blessed in return.  It brings joy to God’s heart and we reap the benefits of His blessing.  The really cool thing is that you don’t have to spend a fortune to feel really good.  It can be as little as a dollar or two; provided you're spending it on another person.

I recently passed a homeless man while driving down a busy street.  My heart was broken so I pulled into the nearest drive-thru and bought food to offer him.  I’ll never forget his smile as I handed him a taco six-pack.  The cost of the tacos was insignificant, but the smile on his face was priceless.  And you know, my heart was glad because I spent a little money on someone else for a change. 

All of us have similar opportunities…. we just need to look for them.  You may have a friend who needs a little encouragement.  Buy them a card that expresses your love and write a few words of kindness to lift his or her spirits.  Perhaps your wife is overwhelmed by raising the children.  Give her a long-stem rose or small gift from the dollar store to express your thankfulness.  Maybe your daughter had a hard day at school.  Cheer her up with an ice cream cone to help her forget the cares of the day. Seek and you shall find many other opportunities to bless. 

It really does feel good to think of others first.  Spending money on gifts for others or supporting a needy charity is a small investment in happiness and well worth the payoff.   It doesn’t cost much to brighten another person's day.  And best of all, your day will be made that much brighter proving that you really can buy happiness!

Start your day off right

Everyone knows that regular exercise has tremendous physical and emotional benefits.  But did you know that exercising in the morning before breakfast is the best time of day to exercise?  That’s right.  It improves mental focus, stimulates weight loss, and provides a boost of energy that lasts all day long.  It is a great way to start off the day! 

There is only one problem with waking up early to exercise -- you have to get out of bed!  Listen, if you want to start your day off with exercise, you need more than just good intentions.  You need a plan!  So here are some simple things you can do to make exercise a natural part of your morning routine (or anytime of day!).

Get Enough Sleep
A large percentage of the population simply does not get enough sleep according to several studies.  We are sleep deprived so it is no wonder why we have trouble waking up in the morning.  Failing to get adequate sleep will kill any hope of waking up early to exercise.  To really make this count, you need to go to bed earlier.   Don’t expect to wake-up at 5am to exercise if you watch TV until 1am.  Make it a habit to get a full 8 hours of sleep every night.  You will quickly discover that you are far more refreshed in the morning when you do and waking up early will be a snap.

You snooze, you lose
Procrastination is your enemy when it comes to waking early to exercise.  Keep your hand off of the snooze button – it’s evil.   Put that alarm across the room (out of reach) and turn the volume up nice and loud so you can’t sleep through it.  Get out of bed as soon as the alarm goes off or you may doze off again.  Remember, the longer you lay in your nice, warm, cozy bed the harder it will be to get out of it.  Don’t give your mind time to think about it or you will talk yourself out of getting up.  Also, have your workout gear ready and limit the things you need to do in the morning before you exercise.  That way you won't be distracted.

Don’t Skip
You must get up and exercise consistently in the morning or it will never develop into a routine.  It takes at least 30 days to develop a new habit so don’t skip workouts unless you are sick or you just can’t make it.  Once you start skipping your morning workout, you may just give up altogether.  Don’t’ let this happen to you.  Discipline yourself until it becomes a routine.  And if you are tempted to skip something, skip rope – not your workout!

Buddy Up!
Every morning I see two ladies power-walking through the neighbor at 5:00 AM.  They talk and walk as they burn calories together.  Although it is really early (like dark early), rarely have they skipped a workout.  It is obvious that they motivate each other to stick with it. Listen, it is far easier to quit if you go it alone.  A good friend will encourage you to overcome “quititis.”  So grab a buddy and work out!

Focus on the Bennies
You can probably think of a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t get out of bed and go exercise in the morning.  Purge your mind of those thoughts!  Instead, think of all the great benefits of getting up and hitting the gym early.  This will definitely motivate you to push through the morning fog.  And the better you feel and look as a result of exercising, you'll look forward to your next workout. 

Start Out Small
You're motivated to begin.  If you are just starting out, don't over do it!  Set achievable goals, like getting up 15-30 minutes early your first time out.  Every morning get up a littler earlier until you settle into a good routine.  This will keep you from burning out.  Remember to check with your doctor before beginning any new exercise routine if you haven't exercised in a while.   Be smart and sensible and you're sure to have fun.

Do Something You Like
Exercise should be fun so make sure that you choose a form of exercise that you enjoy.  The more fun you have exercising the more you are likely to stick with it!  Weights, cycling, dancing, jumping rope, exercise videos are all great options.  Yes, there are literally thousands of different exercises to choose from.  As long as the heart is pumping and you're burning calories, it doesn't matter what you do for exercise.  If you're not sure which exercise regimen is right for you, experiment until you find one that you like. 

Exercise is a vital part of a healthy lifestyle.  If working out in the morning isn't an option, find a time that works best for you.  It's important that you develop a routine, which takes a little time and effort.  Hopefully some of what I have shared here will help.  And who knows, maybe I'll see you tomorrow morning!

A superstar living in every child

Parents and teachers expectations have a lot to do with what a child can achieve in life.  Low expectations can lead to average achievement while high expectations often produce fantastic success.  That is why it is important to look beyond the exterior and see the superstar living in each and every child!

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."  (1 Samuel 16:7)

I was recently enjoying some alone time at a local coffee house.  While I was sipping my soy latte, a father and his son walked in and approached the gentlemen sitting next to me and greeted him with a warm smile and friendly handshake.  The two men talked for a few minutes and the guy next to me looked at the young man and asked, “How is school going?”  He answered politely, but was somewhat vague so his father replied, “Well, John isn’t a genius but he does alright in school.”  Upon hearing his father's remarks, the boy shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head with a half-smile.  I could tell that he was deflated. 

Now I don’t think the father meant anything unkind, but he was unknowingly sabotaging his child’s potential in school (and probably life).  He was encouraging his son to be a mediocre student rather than encouraging him to be a superstar. 

A famous study done some years ago demonstrated the power of our actions and attitudes in encouraging children to achieve great things when we believe that they can.  Researchers went into an elementary school and tested the children at the beginning of the school year.  After the test was administered and evaluated, the researchers told the teachers which students were the academic superstars.  However, they did not share the results with the children.  At the end of the year, the students were tested again and the academic superstars outperformed the other children by a wide margin.

The test results may not seem all that surprising until you consider that the test had a twist.  It turns out that the children identified as “academic superstars” during the initial testing were randomly selected.  They were neither gifted nor academically superior to the other children at the beginning of the year.  However, when they were tested at the end of the year, they “became” academic superstars. 

This test really had little to do wtih the children but everything to do with the teachers (although they did nto know it at the time).  The teachers – believing that certain children were academically superior -- treated them like academically superior students.  This resulted in the children performing at a very high level throughout the school year.  The teacher’s expectations had a direct and profound effect on the children they were teaching.   They created superstars because they believed in their ability to excel.

This experiment has clear ramifications for those of us who are raising children.  What you expect of your child is based on what you believe about his or her potential.  Your expectations also influence your actions.  If you view your child as mediocre, you will treat your child as if this was true and he or she will live up to your average expectations.  Conversely, if you believe that your child has the potential to be a superstar, you will treat your son or daughter differently and promote excellence in everything that he or she does. 

Believing that your child is truly a superstar also impacts how your child approaches school.  He or she will be far more optimistic and positive.  Rather than it being a chore, school work and education will be fun and productive!  You will also find a great deal more joy and satisfaction in helping your son or daughter with school work knowing that he or she is a superstar! 

Keep in mind that your child’s potential is not fixed or limited.  Living in every child is truly a superstar.  If you believe that your boy or girl is gifted, wonderful, and extremely talented, he or she will flourish and shine.  Don’t limit your children’s potential by declaring that they are simply “average.”  You can make a big difference by encouraging their success.  The really great news is that they will be more creative, work harder, and experience greater joy and happiness in life because you believe in them. 

Sleeping through the storms in life

A solid 8-10 hours of restful, uninterrupted sleep is required for optimal health and well-being.  Unfortunately, most people do not get enough zzzzzzzzz's.  The National Sleep Foundation reports that nearly 40 million Americans suffer from sleep disorders and an estimated 60% of people say that they have trouble sleeping one or more nights a week.  This is no trivial matter.  The adverse effects of missed sleep go beyond fighting through the morning fog while clutching a Starbucks’ Trenta.  Negative health illnesses include heart disease, cancer, diabetes, and obesity.  There are also emotional and cognitive problems associated with sleep loss that diminishes quality of life and happiness.

It’s no wonder why our quality of life is suffering – we are sleep deprived.

So why are so many people reporting sleep problems today?  Part of the answer has to do with “stress.”  We live in a stressful world and the cares of the day and worries about tomorrow keep us from falling asleep quickly and achieving deep sleep.  Stressful thoughts even invade our dream life causing even greater fear and anxiety!  Many people consumed with worry are awakened in panic and have trouble falling back to sleep beacuse their hearts and minds are racing. 

Despite the many worries and concerns many of us face, it is possible to get a good night’s sleep.  The key is perspective.  People who have a happy, optimistic disposition experience better sleep.  However, unhappy, less-optimistic people generally report mild to severe sleep problems.  It has little to do with our actual circumstances and more to do with how we perceive them.  Here is a great story that illustrates this point::

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples.  Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping.; The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”  Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. (Matthew 8:23-26)

Note that Jesus and the others were on the same boat and experienced the same set of circumstances.   Yet Jesus had little trouble sleeping.  His faith enabled him to sleep through the storm.  He was confident that everything was going to be okay.  Conversely, the others on the boat were stricken with fear and shouted, “We’re going to drown!”  Their lack of faith resulted in unrest and great anxiety.  They did not have peace and therefore could not sleep. 

You may not be on a boat, but chances are you are facing great storms in your life that prevent you from sleeping at night.  You may be consumed with worry and believe you are about to drown under the mounting pressure.  Changing your perspective may help you find peace and ultimately restful sleep.  The great news is that you can do this without using sleep aids, drugs, or alcohol!

How do you change your perspective and view your situation differently?  To begin with, don't automatically assume the worst possible scenario.  The disciples above, for example, did exactly that – they believed that they would ultimately drown in the storm.   Their reaction is not uncommon.  Rather than looking at a problem optimistically, we immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion imaginable.  We can even come up with unlikely scenarios that are completely unrealistic and allow those thoughts to cause even greater fear and anxiety.  Dismiss those thoughts immediately before they result in panic.

Next, come up with at least 5 scenarios that are less dramatic and possibly even beneficial.  Yes, even bad circumstances can end in a positive, beneficial way! Turn your thoughts from pessismism to optimism.  This won't be easy and will take some practice on your part.  Remember, studies show that optimistic, happy people really do sleep better at night.  

Additionally, have faith that God is with you.  During the storm, Jesus said:  “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!”  Faith and fear are mutually exclusive.  Faith builds confidence and optimism.  Jesus asked his disciples to trust him.  He loved them dearly and was not going to let anything happen to them that night.  In fact, he got up and rebuked the storm and calmed the winds to help alleviate their fears.  He will do the same for you during your time of trial.  This is precisely why he said,  I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). 

Yes, you can sleep well tonight because God is with you always.  He is in the boat and he WILL calm the storms in your life.  Count on it!

The Tongue is a mighty sword (use carefully)

Our words are like a might sword and should be used carefully.  Perhaps that is why the psalmist wrote, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  There is no such thing as a casual, meaningless word.  All of our words have meaning and can cause great harm or bring healing and peace.  They are mighty indeed.

Because our words are like a sword, we must be careful in in how we use them.  Choosing our words carefully requires wisdom so that they are used in love, "...but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  Appropriately placed words can heal the broken-hearted, bring hope to the hopeless, and cure those who are lonely and depressed.  What a tremendous and wonderful gift we have at our disposal!  Knowing what to say and when to say it is key.

I confess that this psalm (and this blog post) hits very close to home.  I carry many battle scars caused by loose words thrown in my direction over the years.  I have unfortunately wounded many people as well.  This is one of the reasons why I have started this blog. It is an opportunity for me to share positive, encouraging words aimed at building-up and encouraging others.  While I realize that I can never truly reclaim loose comments that have forever escaped my lips, I can commit to choosing my words more carefully from this point forward.  I can even choose to let my words act as instruments of healing and restoration.

All of us have a similar choice.  Recognizing that our words are like a sharp, powerful sword is the first step in the process.  Choosing when to use various words is like choosing when to use a sword in battle -- swinging it around recklessly does not bring victory.  Words thrown around words aimlessly will not bring healing.  There must be purpose and intent in every vowel...every syllable of the words we use.

So seek opportunities to encourage those around you.  Pick at least one person to encourage every day as a start.  That person could be your spouse, brother or sister, child, or co-worker.  I'm sure there are many people around you who could use a verbal "pick-me-up."  You will quickly find that your words are a mighty weopon of hope, love, and encouragement as you put this into practice!

Share this blog with those in your life and leave a comment...thanks!